3 lies

To be a good humanitarian you have to be flexible…

I am being flexible, so flexible I feel like a rubber band ready to snap because it’s been stretched far too many times for too many different purposes, reasons, circumstances…Maybe I got into this humanitarian relief career too late and after living under the heat of life the elastic band has started to melt, you can still stretch it but it’s fragile.

To show more flexibility I used a well known trick many use: lying. Yes lying can be pretty useful where you are about to snap, so I gave it a go.

I had to prepare for the next 12 months from Colombia, France and Wales, between work, a thriving social life and vaccinations, all under 3 weeks. I booked an expensive one way ticket to Belgium, was picked up by my father, drove to the village, didn’t sleep. The next day I had to continue the vaccination fun and faced a very abrupt and judgemental doctor who told me I was careless and not serious to have left vaccinations this late…yes, in order to get an appointment asap (I had 2 days in France)I used lie number 1: ‘I’m leaving the day after tomorrow for Haiti’ when really, I was only going to Wales on training but would be sent to Haiti straight after. I finally got vaccinated, got home, and didn’t sleep. The sleepless night was followed by a hectic day washing clothes, shopping for travel essentials, packing until the next day, another night jetlagged and unable to sleep. I finally slept in the car driving to the UK. And off I went to London to renew my passport, it would take up to 10 days, perfect I thought. And off I went to Wales. I had my final vaccinations there, no news from the consulate about the passport so I booked a weekend to France, but news from the hosting NGO in Haiti said that I could arrive later as they needed their staff to arrive before I did. Great I thought that would leave me more time in France but I would lose my return train ticket…

Once in Paris I thought of lie number 2: ‘I can’t travel on Monday because my new passport hasn’t arrived and I don’t have an ID card’ to which the eurostar officer said: ‘fine, you won’t need to buy a new ticket, but there’s one condition, you must show your new passport with the date as a proof when you wish to travel’ Now that was good news tainted with…bad news.

How could I produce the new passport in Paris when said passport was in London?

On the Wednesday, I went back to Paris and used lie number 3: ‘It says on the ticket I have to show the new passport however there was a misunderstanding, they sent it to the consulate in London’ to which the eurostar officer said: ‘that’s fine, do you have a VALID ID card’ and there I proudly presented my ID card. ‘May 2011, your card has expired’ she said. I had to be even more flexible here, could I carry on with lying or just come clear, I truly didn’t know my card had expired! ‘You can ask the police and see what they say, if they let you through or not, If so you can be on the next train’ the officer said. I’ll make it, I’ll make it to London. I shyly asked the French police and they let me through, sigh of relief up until I had to report to the British police and there it was a different story, they didn’t want to let me through. I looked around to ensure the French police wouldn’t notice what I was about to do…And discretely presented my old but still valid passport and I went through…

3 lies and the elastic band is still holding!

Love and elastic bands to all!