Moment of Truce, May 9th 2010

Lying on the terrasse, gazing at the stars, watching the clouds moving in slow motion in the frame of the mirador, feeling the breeze on my legs, my hair twirling in the wind and caressing my face I felt happy again in Cartagena.

Truce...

My lover of a town had been true of its ‘costenho’ reputation lately, it had betrayed me and left me wanting to end our once passionate relationship. Cartagena like ‘Costenhos’ men, who have the infamous reputation of being unfaithful womanizers had sweet talked me, bewitched me and gone so deep under my skin that after a month in Europe, I was longing to come back.

Cartagena welcomed me back with open arms, as soon as I landed, warmth of the night embraced me and I felt happy. I had already seen with eyes wide open the two faces of town and now was going to see that, like lovers that love too passionately, the aftermath of passion could hurt.

Cartagena would tear apart the heart and soul of the place I called ‘home’, take away the hand I would hold onto and that would sweep hair off my face in the wind, disable my connection with loved ones and steal from me…Cartagena seemed too hot, sticky, smelly, walls seemed decrepit and had lost their shine. I felt a dip in my stomach having to shrugg off beggers, I felt like crying when I saw men in their 70s pushing heavy charges of fruits in the burning sun, sweating under their hat of fortune, trying to sell enough to buy lunch for the family… ‘God bless my business’ is often written on their carts…God is almighty and omnipresent here…People suffer from hard labour, poor health, lack of quality of life and they smile, they sing, they carry on without a complaint.

I have the quality of life, the good health, the easy job, the polite smile and I was sad with many complaints. I blamed it on the place I was at, not being able to handle recent events because I felt unsettled in my shared bedroom feeling emotional isolation for the first time…but does happiness or the opposite only depend on the place you are at or does it depend on your outlook on life ?

I have learned that more than anything I would like to feel fulfilled, accomplished and in order to reach that, I need to work…Only time will enable me to do that and…Patience seems to be a word outside of my vocabulary.

Cartagena hadn't changed from what it was in December, it hadn't cheated me, but life had gone by.

So…for the time being, I need to kiss and make up with my lover of a town and learn to be patient and moderate, passion is thrilling, but what stays when passion fades, when one becomes a fairer judge of reality ?

Looking for the answer… ;)

Peace and Colombian smiles to all.